Recent Blogs Posts

So when I originally started up this blog, I had envisioned telling others of my wisdom and my woes on a weekly basis. (Yay for alliteration!) Obviously, this has not been the case, since it's been more than a month since my first post. While I do have some drafts in the works, it's obvious that what I really need to do is to just start writing from the hip. No second thoughts, just a stream of verbal diarrhea. Yes folks, diarrhea is the key to breaking writer's block.

With that, ...

For those who my have been wondering where my stories have gone, my computer crashed when I attempted to download and install windows 7. I lost all that I had written. I am in the process of trying to retrieve all my files. I also got a ship girlfriend, somthing I thought i would never do, and I now spend lest time writing and more time getting laid.

But dont worry. I will find time to write more of my ship stories. There are alot. The girlfriend goes on vacation in two weeks. I ...

Sometimes when I smile at you, I don't mean it.

Don't get me wrong: we appreciate your business. More tables equal more sales, which usually means more tips for myself. I'll do my best to make sure that your food is correct; that your drinks come out quickly; that you have an all-together pleasant dining experience. It's just that I can't always be sincere when I greet you.

I'm sure you're perfectly nice. Sure, there will be nights when it seems that 99.9% of the ...

There comes a time in every server's life (and everyone else for that matter), when you realize, you aren't as young as you used to be, and you just can't push yourself to the limits that you were able to before.

My time has come. I have always been a hard worker. I have been in this industry a long time and i love what i do. Whether it is cooking, or serving or bar tending whatever, i love customer service. I used to be able to work double after double and still put on a smile. ...

So back to the story. I had come to Hawaii to get away from my old life, and had lots of hopes and dreams about what was going to happen. I hoped to learn a new aspect of restaurant work. I wanted to become a better waiter, and use the experience as a springboard for better opportunities back on the mainland. As we all know, life never goes as we hope. I think I may be getting there now, but as you will see, it took a while to get there.

It is my first week of real work and I am not ...

Today I move the narrative forward a year. I write this at the end of one of the longest days I have had on board. Last night we got the word that there was an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in Chile. There was speculation that this quake would send a tsunami toward Hawaii that would rival the one in Indonesia a couple of years back. I went to bed last night not knowing what to expect in the morning.

Morning comes and I roll out of bed at my usual 6:15 for my 7:00 Aloha shift. As I settle ...

Finally it is my first day at work. I am scheduled in the Aloha Café at 7 am. Aloha Café is the buffet. It is located on deck 11 aft, and it is a fucking zoo. My first day of work is a Sunday, the first day of the cruise. My ship runs a 7 day cruise. We embark Honolulu on the island of Oahu on Saturday night. We port in the town of Kahului, on the island of Maui at 7 am on Sunday. We stay overnight in Kahului, and leave Maui at 6 pm on Monday. From Maui, we go to the Big Island and port in Hilo. ...

I've been doing some phone work at the old joint lately. Here are some prime questions I've been asked in the past two days or so:

1) How do I enter you into my GPS?

2) (same person) Do you have valet parking (it's Manhattan, no one has valet parking)?

3) If I come on Saturday at 8:00 without a reservation how long will the wait be? (I can actually predict the future, but instead chose to do this glamorous job with my special gift)

4) Can ...

This may or may not become a blog segment...

Ok, so one of the major reasons i am transferring to the lounge, is that nearly everyone, except for 3 bartenders have been fired or quit. There is NO ONE down there, and people in the restaurant are fighting for hours...so yeah..pretty much makes my decision easier. I know people have been fired from down there for smoking drugs and not coming to work, or drinking on the job..or giving out free drinks to their friends...this story though, ...

Morning in Kahalui, Maui. I am not sure if was sheer exhaustion or the motion of the ship, but I slept like a baby and had no weird dreams. That would be a first in decades for me. Usually when I go to bed sober, I have weird dreams. My alarm goes off at 6 am, I am up right away, get dressed and head to crew mess for breakfast. Breakfast is the most consistent of all the meals. You always know what to expect. Fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, couple different meats, and rice. Yeah, that’s right, rice. ...